Step #1

Create a date night once a month with your significant other. One month one of the couple picks the activity, the second month the next person in the couple picks the activity. Learn to have fun with each other by exploring what is enjoyable for your partner.

Step #2

Reconnect to the wildness within by doing the thing that you have always wanted to do. Remember the dreams you had as a child. Have you actually done them? It is amazing what can happen to your life when you allow the inner child to find and reclaim old dreams.

Step #3

Take the television out of the house for a week and reclaim the skills of communication.

Step #4

Bundle up and go for a walk in the snow with your partner. Hold hands and be in each other’s presence in silence.

Step #5

Sit across from each other, knees touching and holding hands and look into your partners left eye. Sit in silence allowing the vulnerability and innocence to be seen in each other. Be in silence for 5 minutes a day with each other. Notice who this person is that you are with? What are their inner fears and weaknesses?

Step #6

Place post it notes (one per day) telling your partner what you appreciate about them. Or write a mature, honest love letter to your partner, acknowledging what you thought relationship was and what you now know it to be. In the letter let go of old fantasies that society told you and appreciate the new skills and awareness that you have achieved in the relationship.

Step #7

Create a tradition for bringing each other a small gift once a week, such as: a single flower or flowers, making them their favorite meal or treat, give the other a scrumptious bath with oils and candles, a weekly back rub or foot massage while watching TV, etc.

Step #8

Create a romantic interlude with a theme, such as: the Arabian Nights (tents, grapes, wine goblets, chiffon, big pillows, flower petals on the bed), Biker Baby (motorcycle get away, leather jackets, adventure, letting the bad boy/girl out for the evening), Candle light dinner for two, where you blind fold your partner and feed tasty morsels of food by hand, etc.

Step #9

Create a sexual evening or morning out of the bedroom, such as: by the fireplace on a fluffy rug with pillows, out in nature camping, in the car (Remember to pick safe and secluded places that create the thrill without getting yourself into trouble).

Step #10

Create an agreement field with your partner to play out a personal fantasy, safely.

No matter what you try, remember to change the patterns in your life. Create new traditions of respect and honor for your partner. Rekindling the passion and spontaneity is as simple as getting out of the ruts in our lives. As soon as you try something new, you open up to the inner child within and the brain becomes more alive because you are no longer doing the routine. Change is the key to spicing up love life. Trying new things together creates bonding patterns as each one of you stretch and allow the control to be let go of for a brief moment in time.

In trying new things, the old fears come up. When this happens, the vulnerability within can be seen by your partner. This is not only a good thing it is a great thing! When we are vulnerable, we are real and this allows others to connect with us on a deeper level. In reality none of us are perfect and when we allow our humanness to come to the surface we are easier to love.

So, let the walls within come down. Allow yourself to be free and open to the truth within yourself. When you allow yourself to be loved even when you are not perfect you allow others to become their true self also.

It is so much easier to be real then to be what you think you are supposed to be. Let go of the old rulebooks and know that your authentic self is magnificent and more than enough!