Blog – The Doorknobs in our Hands

I took a few days to go up north to see a friend to moved from Salt Lake City to Eureka. She is settled in and finding her footing in the patterns of the northern California ways.
Many months ago, it seemed a guide took over my mouth and told her that living in Utah was going to kill her if she did not find a way to take a risk and leave everything that she was behind. She listened to me and took this huge leap of faith and let go of her old life and decided to embrace another self that was longing to get out.
It is beautiful to see a person who loves the gray, cloudy and cool summers of this area. It is lovely to see the healing that is continuing to unfold as she learns that she is more than what she had known.
We all have moments when what we have … is no longer enough and we have to risk and jump from one reality into another.
I admire those who realize that there are moments when we need to find ourselves and make our own wants and needs a priority.
As we age, it begins to dawn on us that we could be running out of time and with the time that we still have, we need to find ways to be at peace, enjoy the simple things, worry less about grandchildren and allow the processes that are naturally occurring to unfold with grace. Aging is beautiful because we finally realize that many things will continue to shift and evolve without our help.
We realize that what was so important becomes so much less important and we learn to allow ourselves the grace of time to just be.
While I were here, we made Beef Bourguigon and loved the process in the kitchen of two women, just playing in the domains of cooking without the rush and stress of a normal daily life.
We enjoyed taking the time to allow this dish to cook slowly while watching the Tour de France, and admiring the powerful youthful energy of the many riders.
I see that youth has great gifts and value. But I am appreciating the wisdom, care, and slower pace of being older and wiser. I see that there is no need to prove a point or to be right. My wisdom is allowed in or refused and the choice of that person is not a reflection on my offering or gift. We often cannot completely understand a level of awareness if we are not close enough to that door to realize that someone has placed a doorknob in our hand.
Now, at this age, I realize how many doorknobs I am holding and am willing to open each one with curiosity, patience, and wonder.
I see how each precious gift of wisdom is still there. It was just waiting for me to realize that such gifts require a type of subtle and soft attention before one opens certain things. Some gifts are not to be understood until we are willing to drop into them rather that demand that they open to the insistence of our mind and ego.
Today, discover those doorknobs that you have been holding for a long time. And with the innocence of a child’s mind, turn that knob and allow yourself to discover that some doorways are portals into another possibility.

~Suzanne Wagner~