Favorite Performances – Allegro Brilliant

 

Being trained as a New York City, ballerina, I always wanted to perform that type of choreography created by Balanchine.

As a young, tall dancer, there were few options to me at 5 ft 10 inches.

When I was young, I thought that the only place for me was New York City Ballet. That was because the height limit for most companies was 5 ft 7 inches. And that was stretching it.

When I was in New York City auditioning, I remember multiple moments when I would be warming up and putting on my shoes for class … only to have someone of authority come up to me and say softly, “That’s okay honey, you can keep your shoes off and will you please leave … now!”

Too often, I would be cut before I had danced a step because of my height.

At that time (in the 1970’s and 1980’s), most of the men were shorter. Between 5 ft 6 in and 5 ft 11 in. With a few exceptions of course such as Peter Martins (of New York City Ballet).
When I was auditioning for SAB, the person deciding and teaching class was Colleen Neary. One of the two sisters in NYC Ballet (the other being Patricia Neary Director of the Zurich Ballet). They were both taller than I and I loved to see their powerful movement. I think there is nothing more amazing than to see a tall dancer move quickly. That is because that is often the domain of the smaller dancers.
Once I realized that I would not get into NYC Ballet, I was devastated because I believed that there were no other options.

The teachers at SAB told me that NYC Ballet was not the only ballet company in the world. But at my height … it seemed so.
Coming to Berlin was a relief and a breath of fresh air as I found other tall dancers.
Fortunately, the Russians were often tall and my main partner in Berlin, Herman Jiesamfoek, (who was of mixed race) was probably 6 ft 3 inches.

I needed that type of height in a man because when I was on point, I would gain about another 6 inches … Making me 6 ft 4 inches.

Even thin as a rail, I was a lot of girl to throw around.

In the Dallas Metropolitan Ballet my main partner was Rusty Simmons, and he was an ex-football player that had injured his neck playing and was told to stop playing football.

Being a smart, collage age, straight male, he looked around and said, “Hum! Where are the prettiest young women? Oh, they are in the ballet department. Oh, and they wear almost no clothes! Oh, and I get to touch them and pick they up! Oh, and they are surrounded by gay men! Perfect!!!!”
As Rusty was built like a brick house, he could throw me around in the air like nobody’s business!

We were a pair … him, and I.
I flew in his arms and he never … ever dropped me! It was a sensation that I really never had with any other male dancer throughout my career.

Perhaps I was just young. Perhaps I was light like a feather. Perhaps there was a trust that carried from another time and place.

All I know was that dancing with Rusty, I was fearless and that he and I pulled off lifts that I have never seen others do even in a professional sense in a live performance. Maybe with the exceptions of a few Russians. But even those lifts were not exactly the same as a few we tried.
Herman (in Berlin) was a powerful lifter as well, and he too … was tall.
There is a beautiful feeling that tall men can give to a tall woman … if they know how to hold their energy just right.
That is … that through their masculine power, height, musculature, and the force that comes from their body, they can allow us to feel the right size and … feminine.
Because us tall girls … are never the right size for most situations.
And we know it!

Tall dancers on stage are strikingly beautiful in my jaded opinion. There are statuesque and stately. They can more easily move with an intentioned power that comes from the expectations of an audience that then feeds into us.
While in Berlin, I did get to dance in “The Four Temperaments” by Balanchine. I was thrilled!

We did this ballet … my first year in Berlin. I was in the section called Phlegmatic and the principal dancer was Reda Sheta, an amazingly powerful, passionate, Egyptian dancer that guested with us. He also was very tall.

I loved everything about that ballet! I thought I had died and gone to “Dancer Heaven.” It was a dream come true and I felt my body was made for these types of movements.
I could not stop smiling and the few pictures I had from those performances were joyous and filled with the youthful exuberance of the fulfillment of a childhood dream.
When I got to Ballet West, we had some tall males there as well. Bob Arbogast was the first one that I got to dance with in a principal role for the Balanchine ballet, Allegro Brilliant!

Again, a dream come true!

I had just arrived in Salt Lake City, and Ballet West was doing a mixed program. Surprisingly … I was cast in this role. I was shocked, honored … and terrified. After all, I was still recovering my stamina and while I looked thin, long, and gorgeous, inside I was concerned about making it through every rehearsal and performance.
Allegro Brilliant is a 15 minute fast paced, race!

Built around the music of Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto No. 3, it is a dancer dream. Or nightmare!
To this day, when I hear the overture to that music, my heart begins to race, my blood pressure goes up, and I begin breathing deeply.

There are some ballets that it does not matter how many times you have done it, you fear that this time … you will not make it through it.
I know that sounds silly, but some things are so difficult (in specific ways) that they bring up a type of core terror.
This ballet was one of them.
The reason in this case was that it never really paused or stopped. It was a nonstop fast-paced leap into this incredible piece of music.

At first Bob and I rehearsed alone, and the corps rehearsed alone. Then at a point we all come together.
To say I was nervous for that moment was the understatement. I was a new corps dancer suddenly being pushed into a principal role.

While that had happened in Berlin. The reason for that moment was Nureyev. An honor that I did not think I had completely earned … in the very structured seniority system German Opera Theater.
But this time, I believed that the director, Bruce Marks was making the choice and I did not want to disappoint him in any way.
After all, I had risked everything to be here, and this was my moment to shine and prove that I was worth all the hassle.

Bob Arbogast was a playful, engaging, tall, boyish, very married, dancer that had the ability to make you look at him and through his movement you could feel the power of his passion.

He was a great partner and really knew what he was doing, and I felt confident in his capable hands.
There is really nothing like a great partner that reflects that type of enthusiasm that one feels inside. Bob was that type of partner. He was youthful, commanding, and playfully attentive.

We get to the rehearsal and there were two casts. A tall cast and a short cast.

You can guess which one I was?
The tradition in ballet is that when companies come together to rehearse, the corps goes on and off and everyone claps, then the principals go on and off and everyone claps.

It is a type of team building tradition that most companies do.

So, the corps goes on and off. And as predicted … everyone claps.

Then Bob and I go on and off ……………. No one claps.

With each entrance and exit it is the same.

The statement was clear.

I knew they liked Bob … but it seemed that they were not approving of me.

OUCH!

It stung more than I wanted to admit.

I just kept going and decided to ignore what was happening.

I could tell that Bob was trying to do the same thing.

He knew it was related to me as well.

It is in such moments that one must keep going. It does not matter what the other dancers think.
It really only matters what the director thinks.
I had to believe that I was chosen for this part, and all of this was a type of test to see if I would make the grade from the dancers.

I knew that there will always be a deeply competitive side to ballet, but it hurt because of all I had sacrificed just to get there.

I had left a much better paying job, I lost my status, I lost almost all my savings, I almost lost my life, and then … I lost all my belongings to be there.

In that moment, it was a clear sign of rejection. But all dancers have felt this feeling, and all know to keep going and to do the best we can.

I loved the ballet “Allegro Brilliant” more than anything and I love this style of dance. The power of the music carried me through, and I felt that in those rehearsals I did my best each and every day.
I learned a lot about my character in that time. I learned how internally strong I was emotionally even after all I had been through. I was proud that I decided to be kind no matter what and I decided to not hold any grudges because what would be the point?

In the performance of Allegro Brilliant, I was all nerves and jitters.

I wished for a powerful performance that would settle the score and let the underlying issues drop away.

I seemed to succeed from the audience level.

But there was still much work to do within the patterns of belonging in this company. It would take at least a year and a half before the tone actively shifted.

But performing Allegro Brilliant in Kennedy Center in Washington D.C. many years later was a pinnacle moment.
And a peak experience where Bruce Marks would allow me to do it 100% my way and to give me permission to freely express my authentic self through these gorgeous steps that Balanchine had choreographed.

I will never forget that feeling of that final performance in Washington.

I will treasure that great gift and very special moment forever.

~Suzanne Wagner~