Special Moments Captured and Recalled

I believe that there are souls that come to give us specific gifts that we do not know we need.
I believe that we also come with specific gifts that we do not know we need to give.
The universe has a plan, and sometimes we are not let in on that plan.
In strange moments, something can take us over … that will seem to not come from our known self. Sometimes those moments are when an angel takes over our actions and words, and if we are aware in those moments, it feels as if those words are suddenly cascading out of our mouths in ways that are surprising and unusual.
In such precious engagements with others, we marvel at what so effortlessly moves through us. And afterwards we cannot remember those amazing sequences, thoughts, and connections. It is as if we are simply a vehicle for something divine to be gifted in that moment.
In astrology, some say that we are our ascendant as we are young, we then mature into our sun sign, and then as we age that we can move into our moon sign.
This type of sequence shows us the evolution that our soul was destined to move through, learn from, and eventually become.
As a child, I dreamed. Not of the things that most girls dream of. I did not dream of a husband, children, wealth, fame, or self-importance. I dreamed to become the light. I dreamed to help humanity find the paths of hope that inspire greater love, more compassion and kindness, and to discover the will and inner power to overcome adversity.
I dreamed of becoming something that could show the paths through this density called life. I dreamed to use my energy and light to illuminate many pathways towards self-acceptance and deeper compassion.
I did not know that to do that, I would be required to step into characters, personalities, deal with complex personalities, learn from the mistakes of others, observe the patterns of response and reaction, and through all of that become more genuine and authentic.
In astrology, my ascendant was Cancer. That allowed me to show the gentle sensitivity that was so clearly on the surface of my consciousness as a child. I was the child that would bring home the stray puppy, the injured bird, the tadpoles from the creek to put them in my room to watch them grow. I would also want to protect the underdog in class, and I was a defender of those that needed to be protected. My ascendant allowed me to be empathetic and intuitive. I wanted everyone to feel as if they belonged and that through me … they could feel as if they belonged.
Helping others and respecting nature was essential for me to find peace.
As a child, on many levels I felt shy and uncertain. But when challenged, there was that fire from my Leo Sun Sign that would not back down. When she took over, she would draw a clear line in the sand that would shock others because to her … right was right and wrong would not be tolerated.
As I grew into adulthood, there is nothing more perfect for a Leo female than to be in the theater, on a stage, and in the limelight. I loved the glow of being the proud, strong, protective, lion. And I had confidence that was tempered by my compassionate Cancer Ascendant.

But the Gemini Moon, seemed so confusing to me in my 20’s. It said that I was a communicator. But I did not have a college degree. It said that I should be excellent at verbal communication skills. I felt at ease expressing emotions through my body but not my mouth.

I remember having to give a lecture to the Ballet Guild about myself. And I started it out saying that I was very nervous speaking in a public setting. I would prefer to show you who I was through dancing rather than speaking. Once I said that, my nerves would calm down and then I would actually enjoy talking in front of groups.
I could see that my Gemini Moon was versatile and adaptable. I knew that I was infinitely more curious than most. I loved learning and I loved to talk to those smarter and those whose minds seemed so unusual and dynamically interesting. I was fascinated by complicated individuals that were not like others.
I remember the wonderful astrologer that told me on my 3^rd Solar Return that I had her do for me the following.
She said, “I have been waiting two years to tell you something. You think you are a ballet dancer but you are much … much more than that. You are her to be a visionary for mankind. You are here to be a writer, teacher, public speaker, and you are here to be the network for others to find their pathways through the complicated world of their own psyche. I have been waiting to tell you this because your soul was not mature enough nor ready to hear the truth. You have been involved and entrenched in this childhood dream and fairy tale called, Ballet. But now you are ready to hear the truth and that is important because there is another path that is more important than this one. You will have to let it go to become who you came to be.”

I remember, thinking that this astrologer was insane. I had no communications degree. I was not a writer; I had no formal education on writing. No one would listen to me!

But she was right in that her timing did set something in motion. I was feeling unfulfilled in ballet, and I was seeking to find what would come after the ballet world.
I did not know a direction, but she pointed me towards a very new door.
One that would prove to be the path.
One that would show me that one does not need to have a degree in English or Creative writing.
One that would show me that I did not need to have a degree in psychology to have a deep understanding of the human psyche.
This life I was to discover that I did not need to be anything more than my authentic self.
That true self was seeking a way to come more into the forefront of my mind and ego. She was patiently unwinding those patterns and beliefs that were blocking the softening and more compassionate nature that lived and thrived somewhere deep within.
And that part was very patient. There were many patterns that would require lengthy unraveling. I had to be willing to explore my own psyche in order to understand the precious gift that this life is for each of us.
I was to discover that every supposed mistake was perfect. That every self-deception protected me for a period of time so I could keep going. And that underneath it all was someone powerful, wise, kind, and deeply concerned for the welfare of others and of all life.
This life was a path forged in the fires of desire. Pounded by the determination of my soul and shaped by the dreams and possibilities that would not let me off the hook.

And I am so very grateful for it all.

~Suzanne Wagner~