I Am Simply Holding Other Doors Open

As a young person I was in love with life.
I ran through the meadows in Colorado literally chasing the triple rainbows … certain that if I ran fast enough, I would find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
I danced more than walked. I ran down the Bright Angel Trail in the Grand Canyon and my father warned me to save some of that energy as we would have to come back up and it was a long way and hot. But I ran all the way back up, after leaping into the cold waters of the Colorado River fully clothed.
I loved to listen, and I loved to learn. My mind was a sponge hungry for information and I had a mind that was oddly photographic, not for images but words, sentences, language, lectures, and music. If I saw a ballet I knew every step from every person on that stage.
I believed in fairness even when it was not offered to me, I made a point of trying to give back what was not give me.
I would bring home the stray puppy or kitten, tadpoles, and baby purple martins.
I tried to stick up for the underdogs and school and I had the power in my personality to stop bullies from doing harm to those that were more fearful, less secure, and often being abused in some way at home.
I was never a joiner. I knew inside I was a leader and that I could set the trends that supported better behaviors and I knew I was to show the way.
As I have aged, I now realize that it is life that loves me.
I walk through the meadows of my younger self and still marvel at the rainbows, but I have no need to chase that pot of gold because I know that the magical leprechaun lives inside of me.
I walk more than I dance. But I watch the dance of the wind through the trees, and I feel into the flight of the ravens on the thermals outside my door.
I no longer walk hot trails, but I still love the cold natural waters of the rivers and lakes. The cool water is calming to my nervous system, and they allow my mind to rest. Yet, now, I take off my clothes when no one is looking and relish in the freedom of being open and a peace with my body and my soul.
I still love to listen, and I still love to learn but not from that desperate place of wanting to understand. Instead, it comes from a place that recognizes those that have wisdom to share, and I embrace the exchange and how learning has become more sharing.
My mind still loves to listen to the music I have danced to in my life, and I feel my body respond to the muscle memory that the music invokes. Inside I am still dancing.
I still believe in fairness, but I recognize that the world is not often fair. I do not get discouraged when others play games of manipulation, comparison, and right/wrong, I just feel sad for them that they are still wasting precious time, trying to prove that their reality is the only one that could possibly be right. Because such a perception is so very narrow and does not allow the soul to find peace or freedom.
I still try to save the creatures that come my way. I try to give all life some sort of chance. I know that at times, my gift is comfort, care, and love at the end. And that is enough.
I still stick up for those being hurt in this world by unconscious people and I try to wake up those that do not see that their ideas, beliefs, and projections cause harm to others and our world. I do not expect them to change, I just offer a door for them to walk through should they find the willingness to grow.
I am still not a joiner. And I have no attachment to being a leader. My ego that needed to stand out … broke away as my soul became strong enough to stand whole, and on my own. I see that the best way to be … is to live as an example of wholeness. And I realize that such a thing is not what most souls seek. They seek fame, fortune, power, and influence. They seek to enroll and make others follow them because they pretend, they have all the answers.
I know I do not have all the answers.
I know that it would be impossible to have all the answers for others.
I know that my journey is to find the answers for myself.
I understand that life is the teacher, I am the student, and my job is to embrace each and every lesson fearlessly.
I have discovered that I am a warrior protecting life.
I am a warrior protecting the rights of all life as it tries to find a place to land and just be.
I do not need to judge to protect.

I do need to assess and give insight and perspective.
I do not need to be right.
I am simply holding other doors open.
~Suzanne Wagner~