Blog – Reflection

 

I am completely shocked and dismayed!

One of the reasons I believed I came here to this planet at this time was to help turn the tide and bring the feminine back into alignment with the masculine.

Many years ago, I did a symposium called the Wild Women Symposium. It was all about inspiring the feminine to break free of the masculine control patterns. I tried to clarify to all the facilitators that every woman is a flower in the garden, and we need all the flowers. That one flower was not more beautiful than another. I told all the facilitators that competition was not acceptable in this workshop or in our world at this time.

And what did they do?

They undermined each other and tore what I created apart with their resentment of other women’s gifts.

I could feel it was happening, but as women do, they learned subversive tactics and so I had no solid proof. But something told me to stop the Symposium. And I was glad I did because I even had a woman send me an email that said, “It was ME!!!! I threw you under the bus!”

The venom of that email shocked me. I was incredible to me that any person would even have the gall to say such words out loud to the person they were targeting. During the Symposium, she made ridiculous demand after ridiculous demand and I allowed her all the time and space she wanted to make her happy. She harbored so much wounding and pain in her reality that she needed to lash out at me and let me know that she was one of the people that intended to tear my organization apart for her own sense of power and satisfaction.

That was the moment that I knew that this world might not be ready for the gifts I offered. It was devastating to me that women were so petty and small-minded. I could not believe that they were still so shackled to the masculine way and could not see that they were working against their own power and gifts.

It was in that moment that I again decided to step back and knew it was important for me to not try to overextend.

It seemed that the universe kept asking me to step back rather than step up. I am great a stepping up to a challenge and I don’t back away when I feel called. But now again, I see that half the population there are women, men, and younger people that are incapable of seeing that they are working against their own good nature and gifts.

If the women had come together to protect their rights, and the rights of their own children, the women’s vote alone could have carried it forward. But they didn’t. Not even enough of the young people saw what was happening nor did they choose appropriately to protect their own rights.

It has repeatedly been proven to me that while I did not see how much misogyny was in our American culture, the bigger shock was to see how many women actually hate other women. So much so, that they will make others (just like them) suffer and potentially die by following someone blindly.

The Hispanic vote also did not see the obvious that Trump said that he would deport them all. They were not educated enough to see past the pretentious power that they hold in high esteem from their cultural norms that favor arrogant and toxic masculine. It is beyond shocking!

Now, I believe that we have created a monster. And that monster has no consequences from any level. There is nothing that is in place to hold him in check. Ukraine is going to be sucked into Russia and now Poland and other countries are in danger. Israel is in even more danger, and we are in a place where world war is not just likely but almost certain. And the people of America will only have themselves to blame.

I truly believed that this astrology heralded the shift back to balance rather than carry us off the cliff. I clearly did not realize that we already were off that cliff.

Seems the only way we will learn is to fall.

My father told me in 1978, “Take a good look! You are watching the fall of the Roman Empire, and it is the United States! It will take at least 50 years, and I will be long gone, but you will have to watch it. The reason is education. Reagan destroyed the education system, and you cannot run a democracy with people who have a poor understanding of the laws and the consequences of their lack of critical thinking. China is ahead of us in education. So is most of Europe. We are falling behind in all the maths and sciences. And that is what will make this country fail”

It was hard to believe what he said back then. I was 18 years old, young, idealistic, and hopeful. But he was right. It took almost exactly 50 years for Trump to come into power and begin dismantling all our safeguards.

I am beyond sad. My heart is broken for our world. I did not believe that people would be this blind and make such a choice. But this is where we are. I am glad I live in California and have 32 acres in the redwood forest with my organic garden. It is a good place to hide.

Be safe. I will learn to embrace what is yet to come. Resisting is futile and what I can do is prepare in the ways I know how to do. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would go this way. I was wrong, and yet, at least, I tried to be the voice of reason, hope, and truth. I do not regret trying to inspire other women.
~Suzanne Wagner~