Blog – Reflection

 

One of the reasons I believed I came here to this planet at this time was to help turn the tide and bring the feminine back into alignment with the masculine.

Many years ago, I did a symposium called the Wild Women Symposium. It was all about inspiring the feminine to break free of the masculine control patterns. I tried to clarify to all the facilitators that every woman is a flower in the garden, and we need all the flowers. I explained that one flower was not more beautiful than another. I told all the facilitators that competition was not acceptable in this workshop or in our world at this time.

And what did they do?

They undermined each other and tore down what I created with their resentment and refusal to share their light in the same space as the gifts of other women.

I could feel it was happening, but as women do, they had learned subversive tactics and so I had no solid proof. But some inner voice told me to stop the Symposium. And I was glad I did … because after I shut it down, I even had a woman send me an email that said, “It was ME!!!! I threw you under the bus!”

The venom of that email shocked me! It was incredible to me that any person would even have the gall to say such words out loud … especially to the person they were targeting.

During the Symposium, this women made ridiculous demand … after ridiculous demand and I allowed her all the time and space she wanted to make her happy. She harbored so much wounding and pain in her reality that she needed to lash out at me and let me know that she was one of the people that intended to tear my organization apart for her own sense of power and satisfaction.

Her attitude was one of vindication and smug vanity.

That was the moment that I knew that this world might not be ready for the gifts I offered. It was devastating to me that so many women were so petty and small-minded. I could not believe that they were still so shackled to the masculine constructs that they could not see they were working against their own power and gifts.

It was in that moment that I again decided to step back, and I knew it was important for me to not try to realize how much I had been giving too much and that it was time to take care of myself.

It seemed that the universe has continuously been asking me to step back rather than step up. What I know about myself is that I am great a stepping up to a challenge and I don’t back away when I feel called. But that was not the lesson that I came to learn.

Here we are once again. We were in a moment where there could have been a crack that the women of this world could use to open back into their amazing beauty and power. Yet, once again, I was asked to bear witness to the fact that even though more than half the population are women, that they were still unwilling to protect their own rights. Even half the men, and half the younger people are clearly incapable of seeing that they are working against their own financial success and opportunities by suppressing the feminine.

If just the women had come together to protect their rights, and the rights of their own children, the women’s vote alone could have carried us into a new age of hope.

But they didn’t.

Not even enough of the young people saw what was happening nor did they choose to protect their own rights.

It has been proven to me once again, that I was blind and did not see how much misogyny was still in our American culture. The bigger shock was to see how many women actually actively and viciously hate other women. Though they do not see it as such.

The Hispanic vote also did not see the obvious when the Republican nominee said that he would deport them all. They could not see past the pretentious power that intends to massively make them all leave this country. I understand that they hold in high esteem (from their cultural norms) a type of arrogant and toxic masculine. Yet, still, to me it was beyond shocking!

Now, I believe that we have created a monster. And that monster has no consequences from any level. There is nothing that is in place to hold him in check. Ukraine is going to be sucked into Russia and now Poland and other countries are in danger. Israel is in even more danger, and we are in a place where some world war is not just likely but almost certain.

And the people of America will only have themselves to blame.

I truly believed that this astrology heralded the shift back to balance rather than carry us off the cliff.

I clearly did not realize that we already were off that cliff.

Seems the only way we will learn is to fall.

History is repeating itself.

My father told me in 1978, “Take a good look! You are watching the fall of the Roman Empire, and it is the United States! It will take at least 50 years, and I will be long gone, but you will have to watch it. The reason is education. Reagan destroyed the American education systems, and you cannot run a democracy with people who have a poor understanding of the laws and the consequences of their lack of critical thinking. China is ahead of us in education. So is most of Europe. We are falling behind in all the math’s and sciences.

And that is what will make this country fail”

It was hard to believe what my father said back then. I was 18 years old, young, idealistic, and hopeful. But he was right. It took almost exactly 50 years for Trump to come into power and begin dismantling all our safeguards.

I am beyond sad for our country and this world. I did not believe that people would be this blind and make such a choice. But this is where we are.

I am glad I live in California and have 32 acres in the redwood forest with my organic garden. It is a good place to hide for the next four years, and I am prepared for anything. And I mean anything. I was raised in Texas, and I know how to defend myself. I felt a strong calling to be prepared just before Covid hit. At the time, I did not know what I was preparing for but I knew I needed to be prepared for everything.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think things would go this way. I was wrong, and yet, at least, I tried to be the voice of reason, hope, and truth. I do not regret trying to inspire other women.

Over the years, I have let a lot of clients go for various reasons and I will continue to work only with those that I feel are ready to open in the ways that are in alignment with my gifts. Those that need me will be able to find me.

I am not here to save anyone from themselves or their choices. I am not here to placate those that are not ready to open into vulnerability and authenticity.

All that matters is for us to know who we are in our hearts and to find ways to share all the gifts that we carry. In this time, know that most will never really see or understand what it is that you are offering. And that is okay because that is how it is supposed to be.

I am not here to carry the karmic burden of anyone other than myself. I am here as a guide, and I hold a light of the human potential.

For now, I will keep that light safe, sacred, and hidden from those that are still in reaction and are in a place of destruction rather than rebirth.

~Suzanne Wagner~