Numerology/Astrology for 4/9/18

4/9/18 is the number 6. Thirty plus years ago, I remember doing a reading on a person who was very trapped in a particular set of beliefs and choices that had defined them and their life choices. Those choices had shut this person’s heart down as a form of protection. But that protection had shut them away from the connection and love of their friends and family. They could only allow in so much love and that love had to be in a very narrow band to deal with all the restrictions of protection. I continued to think of this person and that night I had a dream. In the dream they were frozen like a stone, staring out into the world with blank eyes, unmoving and unfeeling. I went up to them and began shaking them in the dream to wake up. I shook them again and again, but they still stood like a stone figure of a person. That was when I saw and heard an angel next to me. And she softly said, “He cannot hear you.” I told the angel that I knew that. But that I needed to try. Somehow, I wanted to show him that there was another way to be. She said, “He cannot open his heart right now because if he did the shock of all the things that he has said and done that have hurt others and created karma for himself would flood in so quickly that it would give him a heart attack and potentially kill him. He is not ready right now. Until he is ready to deal with the harsh truth of his actions and the consequences of those actions, he will remain in this place of a frozen self.”

Then I woke up. Realizing that it does not matter what we think or what we know. It does not matter if we are right or if we want to give them this freedom that comes with truth. What matters is that the soul will not and cannot get it until they are ready. You cannot decide when another person is ready. Only they can.

Many, many years later, that man did in fact have a heart attack. He had a triple bypass surgery and died twice on the operating table. He did recover and then over the next 20 years I watched his heart slowly open. I watched the protection soften around what he thought he was supposed to be and what he thought he needed to project into the world. I began to see the sweetness and kindness return as he did his own form of soul retrieval, at his own pace, in his own way, and with his own timing.

There are moments when the number 6 is a stabilizing center in a chaotic and attached world. I have learned that whether I know something that is true about a person or not, that truth is not always able to be heard by the other.

In that moment of clarity from the dream, I have learned that it is me that needs to back off and check my own ego at the door. That is when I drop into meditation and sit with myself and my own attachments. What I have learned is that even under the attachment is a deep yearning to connect on a profoundly authentic level with others. But that is often not possible and rarely happens.

That does not mean that you do not try.

But it does mean that your life will be a process of planting many seeds that you will probably never see germinate, grow, or flower into the potential beauty that you have seen lying hidden in the darkness of another’s soul.

Astrology Today.

It is never easy to reconcile your thinking with your feelings. Though today might be a slightly easier pattern. You might as well feel confident about your ideas, hopes, and dreams. It is possible to have clarity on some things that have been blocking you. Yes, it is still a Mercury Retrograde and so you have an opportunity to reflect and review those choices you have made. You want to organize your thoughts into actions. Enjoy this planning moment because this is a moment to bring dreams more into action. At 2:50 AM EDT the Moon moves into Aquarius helping to expand this contracted conversation that seems to go nowhere. All of us need freedom and independence. All of us need good education that allows us to move mentally and intellectually beyond being a puppet for those more powerful. We are in a time of great change and when you have to change your mind and have to admit that you were not informed or clear. But that is the only way you can learn and become someone who can and will make a difference in the world. Success is not handed to you. It is built upon the many failures of your life and the many moments when the truth showed you the shadow of your own fears were controlling your potential.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Quote
For every one of us that succeeds,
there were people that believed in us
and believed in our dreams.
They taught us that everything is possible
and to listen to our own heart
and our own inner voice.
And there were also those who
tried to tear down our hopes.
And those people taught us to
take action while believing in ourself.
Those people revealed to us
that they had lost that
connection to their heart.
They had lost faith.
They had lost hope.
In that moment,
You can believe another’s words
or you can believe
in the results of their actions.
~Suzanne Wagner~

Blog

Right now, your soul is trapped in “good intentions”. But at the end of your life, people will not remember that silent intentions that you held in and so tight to your chest. They will remember what you did or did not do. It is your actions that the Divine evaluates to see whether you have learned to go beyond fear. Fear is only the block of the ego and the mind in its futile attempt to limit your growth in the name of safety. But your fear sucks the air and the very life force from you. Your fear never really lets you fully live. Your fear never allows that spontaneous expansion and explosion of your soul’s potential. Step beyond the fear. Step beyond keeping all those ideas and intentions inside. They do no one any good in this world that way. You are here to “DO!” something. You are here to move, work, and mold this density into what your dream desires. But it takes effort to move in this density. Yes, it is hard. So what? Yes, you will fail. What else is new? But you will learn that living and thriving is about being willing to let those fears die. It is about recognizing that holding tight to where you are, is no life at all. At the end of this life, it is the memories of all the shared joys and laughter, love and caring, selflessness and sharing that will play like a film on the disappearing screen of this life’s story. You do make a difference. The only thing you get to decide is how big of a difference you are really willing to make.
~Suzanne Wagner~