Numerology/Astrology for 5/16/20

5/16/20 is the number 7. If you add the 5 + 1 + 6 + 2 + 0 + 2 + 0 = 16. 1 + 6 = 7.

Even within the elements of chaos there is a structure (the number 7). First you have to find the flow of the chaos. Allow yourself to be in that flow without resistance. It is like surfing on the top of an avalanche. The trick is to not get sucked under but to ride the intensity of that wave and stay on top. (Meaning that you have to keep your head.) Panic during these times works against you in all ways. You have to find a way to stay afloat. While you can use “art” as a way to keep calm and find your center. Right now you need the flexibility and strength of “martial arts” to navigate these moments. I know that some of you think that you cannot learn such things at the tempo and pace that is required right now, but you can! You are intelligent, capable, and skilled in ways that you have not yet practiced. And it does take practice to master this physical world. I believe that is one reason that we have past lives. We need many experiences and skills to acquire wisdom. We need to remember in this life how to just be, how to fight, how to be creative, how to love, how to care, how to cook, how to stay on task, how to not panic, how to feel through problems, and how to take a few hits. There is an integration happening right now in this world. More of you is required to show up and be here. More is being asked of you each day. And with each attempt you strengthen those muscles that are essential to re-awaken so that you can protect and defend what and who you love. You are to synthesize all that you have been in all the lifetimes into this most interesting of moments. Bring them all together and discover what you can create out of the rubble of this chaotic world. What I know is that it will be amazing. What I know is that you are going to be proud of who you will become.

~Suzanne Wagner~

Astrology Today

You might be a bit suspicious about how things are working today. Mercury and Pluto aspect in a way that makes things seem really off. Stay calm. Do not try to manipulate things. People are in the mood to not agree and take things personally.

Make some plans. This aligns also with the numerology today. While those plans will probably have to change, I know that making plans calms my mind down and allows me to feel at least prepared and as if I have some control in my small world even though the greater world continues to spiral out of control.

The Moon continues in sensitive Pisces and conjuncts Neptune. This can tip the emotional scales towards a lack of self-control and a lack of balance. You are feeling nervous and distressed at how life is manifesting at the moment. You want to find this illusive thing called “truth”. Loneliness is likely and you need to connect with others that can support clarity and kindness.

The Moon in Pisces squares Venus in Gemini. This can cause more domestic problems and a feeling of dissatisfaction with your life. Remember that all things are temporary. Nothing ever stays the same. This too shall pass.

~Suzanne Wagner~

Quote

“A nation of sheep

will beget a government

of wolves.”

~Edward R. Murrow~

Blog

My grandfather on my mother’s side was a WWII pilot trainer. It was when the air force was a part of the army and did not have its own separate branch. He was chosen because he was a pilot already and they needed everyone who knew how to fly to teach flying during the war.

As a child, I would listen to his stories of teaching flying in fascination. He would tell all the good and the bad in those moments. How they did not know that left handed people  would instinctively reach with their left hand for the ripcord on a parachute. But they had placed it for right handed people to reach towards their left shoulder and so they lost many left handed pilots because of parachuting accidents until they realized that these poor men had instinctively searched for their ripcord on the opposite shoulder and had torn their own flight jacket to pieces on the right side looking for the ripcord. So they finally put the “pull” in the center of the chest. And he would tell how that saved so many lives.

He would not say how many men died in training for flying only that there were too many. He would talk about how the government did not want to hurt morale, so the families of those men were told that they were killed in battle to make it seem less pointless.

The stories were very interesting. They told me a lot about my grandfather and what he valued and how important that time was for him in his personal history. Lives were on the line and he needed to be impeccable to help those men survive the war and have the necessary skills to do just that.

When we came over, he did that classic thing that old people do. He recounted his glory days in the past. And that past was the shining point for his life. It was where he saw his contribution made a difference in the world and in the lives of others. It was his defining moment. He was very proud of his service to this country and his face lit up every time so I did not mind hearing the stories again and again.

This drove my grandmother crazy. I am sure she was sick and tired of hearing about those stories and that she did not want to hear them anymore.

But it was more than that.

It showed her that she was not the most important defining thing in his life, that the war was.

And it drove her crazy. She was one of those women that needed to be the center of attention and she especially wanted his attention.

I think he was the only person in her life that she really loved and cared about. And I do think that it was mutual. Because she was a really scary, off, mentally ill person with a temper that could make you run for the hills. But she never showed it when he was around. She was all sweetness and kindness if he was in the room or within ear shot.

You would watch it like a switch that would turn on and off.

When he was around she was her sweetest self.

The moment he was not in the room, she was a vicious, angry, aggressive, demanding, and a very hateful psychotic person.

Then he would walk in again, and she was all sweetness.

It was quite astounding to watch.

The only time I saw her get angry at him was during his telling of his stories. And he knew it. So I am sure he did not talk about them when it was just the two of them.

But as with all of us, we want to share our defining moments. Those moments that shaped us and showed us what we were capable of in trying times.

It was clear from her anger, that those times when he was in his “glory days”, she was struggling to put food on the table. She hated being a mother and resented the effort that parenting required. She would have clearly preferred to have no children. She even said that she had hoped and prayed that she was infertile because she was a nurse that was an X-ray technician at that time and most of the women were exposed to so much radiation that they were unable to have children.

Somehow my mother squeezed in and she hated it. She would not let my mother call her “Mom”. She refused to let us call her “Grandmother”. She required us to call her “Mimi”, which was her name, not some grandmother endearment. Failure to comply was not an option and harsh punishments were given if you failed to remember.

So today is my mother’s birthday and I reflected on the amazing life of my mother who was really unwanted and throughout her childhood sent to boarding school and her grandmother’s constantly so she was out of the way because my grandmother never really wanted her. But somehow, she became a very loving and devoted mother.

Sometimes when we are not given something, we recognize the value of that thing so much that we seek it out and become the gift that we were never given.

My mother succeeded at that in a powerfully, wonderful and loving way. We always felt love from her. We always felt safe and cared for around her. Dinner was always on the table; house was impeccable clean and clothes were folded and put away. We could always find things. Our house was a reflection of order in this midst of a world in chaos. And that does not mean that everything was perfect. But I believe that if children have the basics. If they feel loved, protected, safe, accepted, and cared for that the problems and mistakes that naturally show up in life do not manifest as a life of pain but allow you to step by step overcome the challenges. When your home is calm, you can handle the external world’s chaos. When you have a reference point for center from your childhood, I think it is more difficult to lose it in trying times.

Take today to create structure and safety in the areas that you can control. Recognize those things that presently you do not have control. But those external things do not define who you are. They are just challenges that you have yet to learn to overcome. And eventually you will have skills and tools to do just that. But life requires patience, timing, and a willingness to keep looking for the answers.

~Suzanne Wagner~