Quote

Appearances are deceiving.

Truth is regenerative.

Willingness is a unifier.

And mastery is the embrace all that we are.

~Suzanne Wagner~

Blog

I am challenged and alarmed by a shift in the mental and emotional stability of so many people I am engaging with at this time.

I recognize that we are going through a moment where there are ongoing and long-standing stresses. And that many will seek comfort in places that bring them solace and forms of comfort.
Even if those places are illusions, fantasies, or not real. I know this is a coping strategy to keep going and to kindle hope.

But the level of the current illusions … is the part that is most alarming.

We learn to confront the truth by stepping out of our perceptual bubbles and thus learn to cope with what is really happening.
I know I have been guilty of this process in many moments in my own current life’s history and especially in other lives (previous to this one).

I remember a past life where I was in a terrible war.
No one was left standing but me.
I remember … going crazy from the shattering of all that had been my life and all that was familiar.
The horror of it all broke me.
Everyone I knew … was dead in front of me.
My village was destroyed.
Nothing was left ……..
And my psyche snapped.
I could not cope with the truth that was blatantly in front of me.
So, I continued to talk to those dead friends and family as if they were alive.
I became a wraith, wandering among the dead, pretending that life was how it had been previous to the invasion of that foreign army.

Those warriors who had committed the atrocities became afraid to kill me because I was clearly mentally insane.
The beliefs back then were that if you killed a crazy person … they would haunt you forever.

So those men left me there … in my fantasy world to slowly starve to death and eventually join the rest of my village.
It took me lifetimes to come out of that darkness and into the place that I am now. And that is a place that is committed to not turning away from the truth of this life, my choices, or my own karmic journey.

I have tried to be committed to truth ever since and while I have failed and had to recover again and again, I am more aware of the ego’s need to turn away from those truths that are so uncomfortable and disheartening. I have tremendous compassion for those that are still trapped within the illusions of the ego that need a particular reality in order to feel good about themselves.

I recently had a disturbing conversation with one person who is living out a fantasy and I am a part of that fantasy and I represent how they are feeling connected to spirit.

Perhaps it is a symptom of this time and place with so much social media. Many are out there seeking connection in a pandemic world where we all feel alone and separate. We are social creatures that need interaction, and that isolation causes us to make illusionary connections that then expand into a reality that is a figment of our own imagination.
One that gives us the meaning and spiritual depth that our souls seek.

But it is difficult for me to listen, try to be compassionate, realize that I am dealing with someone who has tilted too far off one edge, tell the truth (with as much kindness and consideration as I can muster), explain that I do not know them, explain that I am not having that same illusion with them, and try to guide them back to a reality that is sane and hopefully one that can bring more stability by acceptance of that reflection.
It was in that moment that I was admitting that I do not remember meeting them and if they could explain that moment, that the phone disconnected.

Now, I don’t know if they hung up or if the phone just accidently disconnected as cell phones do.

They were a blocked caller and I try to never pick up blocked phone calls, but my husband was in another city for work and sometimes even his calls will come in “odd” or with no Caller ID. He usually calls me in the morning, so I took a risk to pick up the phone.

Now, I will never do that again!
I could not call the person back because I did not have their number. I waited for them to call me back, but they did not.
On many levels I was relieved.
Such calls are difficult because in my current attempt to be honest and kind I would have to say that I do not know them or remember those interactions that they kept referring too. And that can be a hard reality to swallow if one has been continuing to create that illusion and fantasy for clearly a decade or more.
It causes a shattering effect that can manifest great strain as the bubble is burst and one falls into the emotions that they have been avoiding.
I can feel those places where I am so grateful that I am not a huge person out there in the world dealing with all the emotional attachments that some want to throw at others. I am grateful to be a small psychic trying to give my gifts rather than a famous person trying to get attention and acclaim.

I am grateful that I am older, wiser, kinder, and that I try to appreciate others without giving in to what they want me to believe in their fantasy with them.
And it makes me sad.

Sad that they are in that place of pain.

Such strong levels of attachment are a prison that take a very long time to step beyond.

I know.

I have been there.

I am grateful to not be there now.

And I hope to not fall into that very dark place ever again.

May all who seek … find ways to cope with the truth.

May all that need help … find sane people to give them honest reflections.

May all that are trapped in the suffering levels of attachment discover that the truth is the only path to enlightenment and the release of karmic pain.

~Suzanne Wagner~

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