Quote

I look at the aging that naturally occurs.
Such a moment … is not a time for amateurs.

Age shows us what is still pulling at our hearts.

Age looks at the endings rather than the starts.

Age slows down those places inside.

And allows us to take a look at those things that we hide.

It makes us remember even the difficult moments with a smile.

It makes us laugh at our antics and guile.

It shows us the fullness … life passes us by.

It gives us the courage to let go and fly.

~Suzanne Wagner~

 

 

Blog

Yesterday I was up at 2 am to get to the airport and off to Spokane to see and help my mom. My fabulous sister came and picked me up at the airport and so yesterday I started dealing with the small things to help my mother.

I started by getting a brand-new oven temperature gauge and testing the oven that she says is not working. She says that cakes keep falling and so I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies to see.

What I discovered was that they oven heats up but if you open the oven, the thermometer drops 40 degrees and then then oven does not seem to kick back in to heat up the oven quickly. It stays down low and that is what is making cakes drop. I am not sure what can be done. I told her to not open the oven for a cake until the time was very close to done. And if she does open it, she will have to increase the temperature until the thermoset kicks in and bumps it up to the correct temperature.

Then it was onto the next problem. And that was the washer/dryer. She said that heavy things were stopping the washer and they were not spinning and getting the water out. I think that is just when things are heavy that they unbalance the drum and it stops. She just needs to redistribute the items and start over with just the spin cycle.

Onto the dryer. She was concerned it was not drying properly. We discovered that they dryer shuts off in a certain setting but that she just needs to put it on hot and heavy drying and it will do just fine.
I am sure some of these things are just about her mind and the aging process having trouble figuring out what to do when something happens, goes wrong, or does something unexpected.

I also am pretty sure that getting the repairmen over is a way to have a social interaction!
I know that this pandemic has really been hard on everyone, but the older people struggle with just being engaged enough and they need to company to keep their mind alert and working best.
The younger people struggle with much the same thing, except that they are learning about peer pressure and engaging socially. This pandemic reality has made most kids feel more depressed to not have those daily engaging conversations and it makes it harder to have friends. I have seen lots of kids very depressed and not enjoying things the way all kids should be enjoying school and the natural processes of growth and learning to become a healthy part of society.
I also think my mom needs to have something to worry about. And at this stage of her life, everyone is pretty good, healthy, engaged in society and she does not need to care for her parents (they are dead), my father, or us. It is almost like she needs to have a problem to solve … in order to find meaning in a life that is slowly wanning.

I am very proud of her that she is meditating consistently again. That is a really good thing to do as we age. Might as well clear out all the inner stuff and make room for the hopes and dreams of another lifetime and a future reality.
It never hurts to let go of the past and create spaces.

Today, I will be dealing with the DMV and figuring out what she needs to do to renew her driver’s license.

I am still going to continue to play with the oven and washer/dryer. I need to be certain so if she forgets and calls me I have my script to remind her what to do or not do.

We have doctors’ appointments to go to this week and I am taking over the banking (which I have most of the control over at this time anyway) but it is just to get everything moved over to me and signature cards etc.
Remember to cherish your family and know that none of us will be here forever. I am doing my best to be here in ways that give her comfort and support.

That is all we can do.
And remember to make memories, laugh a lot, and always try to be kind because one day others will be doing the same for me in my old age.

~Suzanne Wagner~

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