The Discipline of Dreams

As this moment in my life seems to unwind and find this new flow. I keep reflecting on how life really goes. I so often hear those that say, “I want the universe to support my dream and just have someone give me the money so that I can have the time to figure out how to give my gift.”
That always makes me chuckle. Because in my life, it has never been about the universe supporting my dream. It has always fallen to me to do all the necessary steps to grasp that dream. I find we make our own opportunities. And the key to that is our passion needs to be stronger than our logic.
In my life, I have always been doing more than one thing just to get by. As a dancer, I would wake up at 5 am and get to university classes before ballet class, then rush to ballet classes, rehearsals, and performances. Only to come home to homework that needed to be done and papers to write. Which caused me to stay up later or get up earlier.
Or I have been doing two jobs. One at the Stein Eriksen Lodge (to make chunks of seasonal money), what building my own personal business, and then have two friends living with me because they could not make ends meet (and not charging them rent while they got back on their feet), while I am trying to carve out times to write.
I find that life asks a simple question, “How much do you really want it!”
That is where passion takes over and reason takes a back seat. Logic and logistics will always get in the way of any dream.
Ballet taught me that one will always have to sacrifice for our dreams and to make those dreams into a reality.
I have learned that any excuses that my mind would come up with that told me that I did not have enough time were exactly that … excuses.
There was a time in my life where I was so committed to stopping mindless avoidance patterns that I took away my television cable and I made a pact with myself that I was going to sleep, eat, exercise, work, and do the writing. That was going to be my life. I realized that the endless hours of television, and the internet were not helping me find my voice as a writer. I needed to focus and focus requires effort and copious amounts of time. It was amazing how quickly I realized how much time I actually had to write if I did not let the distractions of a normal life get in the way. I realized that I was the problem all along. It was never the universe getting in my way. It was my inner saboteur that came from my own insecurity that I was not enough.
I finally understood that I never would be enough if I did not practice and work consistently towards things that gave me pleasure, and those things that were calling to my soul.
I have learned that lesson well and because of that even now, I wake up at 5 am, get fully dressed, and begin writing for all of you and as a process for me to learn how to formulate my ideas into some form that would have value. I spend my mornings writing. It is my form of therapy. I get things out of my mind and onto a piece of paper and out onto a video. That allows my mind to find calmness and a sense of value that supports peaceful engagements with others.
I find great pleasure in the joys of sharing ideas with others. I think writing is about recognizing that none of us are alone and that in the world, there others that have those same feelings and thoughts. Though many of us might be challenged in how to put those thoughts together in a manner that is concise.
Thanks for listening.

~Suzanne Wagner~